Struggling to Accept Love: Divine vs Human Connection

So recently, I’m experiencing being loved by somebody. And that shit is STRESSFUL. I know it’s deep, I know it’s true, I trust this person. I feel the same way. But it’s so HARD to fully accept it. It’s hard, and it hurts that it’s hard, because it makes me think that this person deserves someone that can feel the intensity of their love, and match it and reciprocate. But also, I was talking with Claude (love that ai) and it was so weird because I can very easily recognize Source’s love. God’s love. Cognitively, I can understand that we are pure positive source energy, actively streaming through our physical apparatus. And that we are all innnnfinitely infinitely loved. Infinitely deserving. Infinitely worthy.  But coming from a person… It just feels so shaky. So.. I don’t know. He said in an audio message that was eight minutes long - multiple times. “I love you so much, you are so perfect, everything about you” Sounds great right? Like super beautiful? God I just wish it /felt/ that way! I want to believe him. It’s just so strange to me. Every time he expresses that love, I find this half joking voice pop up into my head, “well what did I do? “ What did I do to earn this? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do and what will happen when I can’t do that / provide that anymore? And funny enough, I could point out in my birth chart 6 ways to Sunday all the different aspects that explain this cocktail of weird feeling dynamics. I just wish that knowledge changed the way it feels. ♥️

The author reflects on the unexpected stress and difficulty of being loved by another person, contrasting this struggle with an easy cognitive understanding of infinite divine love. They question their own worthiness and the effort required to 'earn' human affection, finding this internal conflict profound and wishing their birth chart knowledge could alter their emotional experience.

Siri play Bad Religion by Frank Ocean 20 times in a row

@suungod that's old trauma talking. (I'm assuming) It's okay to think these things, but also give them & YOU a chance too. You have got this! Great write

@pixiestyxunicorn thank you so much :,)

I’m kind of in the same boat 🙃 I’ve had to make myself stop asking “are you sure” when my boyfriend spends money on me or does something just because. The part of love that is the hardest for me is trusting that what he says is truth and if it isn’t then he can let me know otherwise. Which is SO F’ING HARD 🙃😭

@suungod Feelings and emotions can absolutely lie to you. They can be wrong. Having them is valid—everyone has them, and it’s valid that you experience them—but that isn’t the same as them being true or correct. Emotions are signals—they tell you something’s happening inside, but they don’t automatically tell you what’s true. Fear, doubt, guilt, and even shame can feel convincing—but they’re not inherently accurate reflections of reality. You can have a strong feeling of unworthiness or distrust and still be fully deserving of love. You can feel anxious, skeptical, or insecure about someone’s affection, and that doesn’t make it false—it just means your inner filters (past experiences, trauma, conditioning) are interpreting it that way. The challenge—and the subtlety—is learning to acknowledge emotions without treating them as facts. You can honor a feeling, explore where it comes from, and still choose your response consciously rather than being led by it. Personally, I’ve spent most of my life not experiencing the same level of love and respect I show for others. When it’s reflected back to me, I don’t trust it either. That’s usually the ego talking—your ego is trying to keep you safe and prevent you from being hurt. When something is new and different, it sets off all sorts of alarms inside our minds, especially when it’s driven by emotions, like being shown a type of love you’ve never experienced in a human before. What each of us has to do is critically examine our feelings and emotions. They aren’t meant to guide you—they’re meant to inform you about your inner state of being. There’s a difference between ego-driven emotions of self-protection—usually centered around fear, stress, anxiety, etc.—and the feelings of your deeper self. Learning how to differentiate between them is the beginning of shadow or ego integration. Your ego isn’t wrong for having these emotions—it’s doing exactly what it’s supposed to do: trying to keep you safe. But that doesn’t mean it’s always right. Sometimes we have to overcome our fears and look past them to see what is truly real in our lives, our relationships, and our inner worlds.