Cannabis Journey: Self-Discovery and Redefining Love

Lately, all I do is think about who I am and the person I am becoming. More importantly, I’ve been thinking about the transitions I’ve been witnessing within myself. I’m taking the time to actually examine who I am and my behaviors. I’ve noticed how hard I am on myself, the expectations I have for myself, and the pressure I put on myself. Lately, I’ve been focusing on finding a way of living that aligns with how I want my life to be. I don’t want to work for someone or a company and have that work become an intrusion into my life. The work I do should feel natural and be part of my life. It shouldn’t be inconvenient. I’m learning to orchestrate my life in a way that makes sense for me and how I want to live. I think this will allow me to conquer or achieve the things I want in life, although, at the moment, those things remain unclear. A few moments ago, I stumbled upon a question I asked myself. What would transpire in my life if I allowed every part of me to flow through me in real time? What if I allowed every part of myself to exist in my life instead of choosing one part over another? Isn’t that what wealthy people do because they feel free to do so? I’m not talking career-wise. I’m speaking simply from a place of expression. A few days ago, I realized that I knew more about fashion than I thought. Today, that same realization came back to me. There was a moment when I realized that there is more buried deep within me. Is it possible that I’ve hidden so much of myself that there is still so much more for me to discover? What if I’ve only scratched the surface? What if I have untold abilities, and through the process of witnessing myself, I can learn and understand more about myself? So now I’m asking a different question. What is going to happen when I completely stop hiding from myself? I’m excited to experience what that is! I’ve also been thinking about love. What does it mean to be in a relationship with someone, for me? What is that experience going to be like for him? Even now, I find myself trying to understand that. But you see, I can’t. So I try to understand it from my perspective. I always come back to the same place: knowing myself as much and as deeply as I possibly can. That’s not an answer, but it’s a start. Knowing and understanding who I am before entering into a relationship has always been the goal. But I’ve achieved that goal. That brings me to everything I’ve spoken about out loud when it comes to being in a relationship with another person, particularly who this person is. Specifically, the qualities he will have. That came up as a question for me today. I don’t feel like I have control over that. When we’re single, we like to think about the idea or possibility of who we will eventually align with. But you begin to see that alignment isn’t happening. The fantasy starts to fade, and you’re left with a realistic view of love and what has already transpired in your life. So you begin to do things differently. See things differently. Learn about yourself. Listen to other people. Give yourself space to understand how you feel, and move from there. So I guess now I don’t feel like I’m longing for love or yearning for it anymore. I’m existing while loving myself and moving intentionally within myself to understand all that I am while on this journey of aligning with love. With resonance, Joseph P.S. There was a time I believed love was pain, that it caused pain, that it brought pain. But that was people, not love. Now I understand love to be a force greater than myself, and building and creating it within myself, that’s what sets me free.

Joseph explores his ongoing journey of self-witnessing and integration, questioning his past perceptions of love as pain and moving toward a model of freedom through self-expression. He reflects on letting his internal facets flow freely, discovering hidden interests like fashion, and cultivating a life that aligns naturally with his core self rather than imposing professional or romantic structures upon it.

@highkingmithrandir this whole thought process really resonated for me. I have wandered down that path so many times…For years. I recognize that joy and excitement you’re feeling right now. You are manifesting. This is the fun part. We are the creators and allowing and connecting to that energy is so damn beautiful. Thanks for sharing all of that! It gave me warm butterflies remembering when I remembered myself too. Hope that made sense!