Finding Clarity: Stepping Away From Alcohol and Parties

I don’t know why I keep going out expecting a different outcome. Sometimes it’s fun, but most of the time I just find myself thinking, “Why am I even here?” and end up going home. The conversations are surface level, the girls have pounds of makeup on, I’m constantly getting bumped into, I’m spending money, and I’m destroying my body. I have no desire to talk to anyone - it all feels so fake. I end up just standing there doing nothing. I know I don’t align with the environment, but I keep going just because I want to fit in or because I’m bored. Going to take a break from drinking and going out for a while.