Cannabis and Memory Loss: Existential Questions Arise

I can’t remember anything. Even the past hours of this trip feel erased from my memory. I keep having insights that disappear as fast as they come It feels like even things that were true in the moment don’t end up feeling true just moments later. My inner narrative has no sense of cohesion. What matters? Who am I? What am I meant to do with my life?

Just be

It’s like the weed is making you question everything at the base of your existence.

I've been there, I figured out the whole meaning of life and the universe one time but Everytime I tried to speak it - I would forget what I was even talking about. Then id remember and try again. This happened 3 times and then I realized it must not be for anyone but me. But to this day I cannot remember what it was

@ayna I read through some of your posts and a lot of things you were saying resonated as things I could see myself writing. Do you have complex PTSD by any chance?

@anonymous01 I haven't been diagnosed with PTSD, I was diagnosed with ADHD and both present similarly when it comes to executive function, impulsivity, emotional regulation... I think the key difference is PTSD can be triggered by external threats. Situations or your environment whereas ADHD is more internal. ADHD low dopamine PTSD high cortisol which suppresses dopamine so very similar.

@ayna hm. Yeah I have an ADHD diagnosis too. Don’t usually take my stimulant because of the PTSD symptoms that make it difficult to regulate. I’m all sorts of fucked, basically

The stimulants don't help me much, in fact I went off my meds in October so just raw dogging it. So far so good. Having both must be really difficult , but if it makes you feel better I think most of us are all sorts of fucked anyway 🤐🤐

@ayna ^ ignore grammar I’m baked

@anonymous01 didn't even notice ... I was baked too

@anonymous01 First. Pause, then breath. What matters is what you decided matters. Another factual truth. Just because you can’t remember, it doesn’t mean it gone. Some things when it comes to the discovery of self must be felt, before it is put into words. Humans, we love to assign meaning for everything we experience. It frames everything, gives it meaning. But it’s not something we need. What need is to let go and allow ourselves to feel. To not move to quickly and put something so where anywhere just have words. You are brilliantly where you are suppose to be. All answers come in time. You don’t need to answer any question before you have an answer. How you get to know the right questions to ask? Is by talking to yourself. By getting to know you. Dive deep. You hold all the answers to you. Answer always come! ❤️‼️

@highkingmithrandir well said

Memory can be tricky. ADHD and stress and lots of factors make it even trickier. I sometimes can't even remember why I am standing where I am or what I went into a room for. I've even been driving home and found myself not knowing where I was driving to(lil scary even). When I can't access memory in moments like that I try to just reconnect with the environment and go with the flow till I remember what I need to. I talk to myself when I'm having times like that sometimes so that I'm not just in my super fast mind but I'm also hearing and putting another sense to work too. Processing in different ways helps. Writing, even just small notes helps me call back memory, where I was. The writing reveals a lot too. You might discover more answers to your questions that way. Different minds work different. Keep trying new things till you figure it out. It can be fun like a puzzle. Go easy on you and go with the flow. You'll get there :)

@anonymous01 do you take notes? Or dictate notes? Helps me out a lot.