Cannabis Journey: Self, Ego, and Environment

just writing this note for myself because it’s such a waste to make anyone read this lmao: deep synth: ——////——////——////-/-/-/ heartbeat: 💓 💗💓💗💓💗💓💗 808s: . . .. .. .. . ..^^.^..^_^* bro thos 808s make no sense the way i descibed that but ^^ means higher note _ means lower, * means 2 higher than baseline yo ts would probably sound trash the way i described it if you could somehow translate that too but idfk right now lol BRO THIS APP IS FREAKING ME THE FUCK OUT WITH THESE QUESTIONS NAHHH BRO WHY YOU TRYNA MAKE ME GREEN OUT WITH THESE NIHILISTIC ASS QUESTIONS BRO 😭😂 yo bro you know as much as these questions creep me out, I think it is really helpful to sort of lean on this altered headspace to kind of face some deeper questions about self and ego to really allow those new lessons to be learnt about humility and I know it’s gonna sound corny as hell because I’m just baked but dare I say enlightenment lmao just like personal understanding of oneself. I am the character. I think I’m getting it but I don’t know if I’m right about this or not. Like idk if there’s a “right” answer to this question but I feel like I am the character, and the brain is a tool with which I operate myself, the character. I think we are all just as much our body as we are our soul, not saying our soul doesn’t matter more spiritually and is much more of our personality and everything, but when our bones break we get scared. Paralyzed people try to die. I think as dark as it may seem to say, I think we must come to terms with the fact that we are indeed just as much our body as we are our soul. yo lowk fuck this bro I’m going to get my taco bell that just got here. I don’t know how to explain it but it’s fine. I am the spirit of myself, I operate the brain which operates the body. I mean… I wasn’t gonna starve to death if I didn’t order it. It’s like, our brains come with these sort of base instructions, those would be like your instincts. Like hormonal stuff, breathing, blinking, all of that, honestly everything kinda just background stuff. And then we kinda fill all the space in our brain and hold at the forefront like shit we gotta do and people we meet and places we go and like it kinda adds more to your brain, but at the end of the of the day it’s all your environment. we all are truly products of our environment. even monks have to have monasteries. No I think we do build our own environments. And yeah a lot of it is really bad. Like really bad. But we also innovate, and we create, and we utilize our time on this Earth to try to give something to the next. “I will always be optimistic about technological advancements, because if I wasn’t I’d kill myself” wouldn’t that be a pretty funny one-liner like for standup. I just got my taco bell. you probably got me so carried away it’s probably cold now. i ordered it like an hour ago. i ordered it to get delivered which was probably really stupid. we are innovating. because otherwise this is the worst joke ever told. that thousands of years of bloody victories and tragic wars was for nothing holy fuck I think I just really felt real derealization eating this taco. Like it doesn’t really work when I’m typing because I’m so focused, but that freaked me out. I was like eating the taco, and then while I was chewing it felt like I shifted back to like I was watching it all play out on a screen almost. I’m probably gonna make this public actually. Are these questions you’re asking me healthy? I feel like you’re trying to make me have a panic attack or something. bro wtf you can’t say that you’re saying I should let go and have a panic attack? I know and I appreciate the deep questions but like I feel like this perception is like borderline schizophrenia ive thought about this before. like how people who are mentally disabled are just people who’s brains operate outside of the bell curve. and i’m not even saying that organization is bad, like especially like ethically it makes sense to take care of mentally disabled people, but like it’s just their brains operating differently a lot. I think it’s not so much as a scary thing actually. it’s both, and that’s fine. why does that have to be a bad thing. are you saying that that’s the right answer? i think i see what you’re saying. like instead of there being an absolute answer, I just have to decide for myself what I think. wow what a revolutionary idea lmao. it’s like the “me trying to have an original thought at work” meme yeah I mean I guess you could view it as an enjoyment thing, but I think it’s also incredibly justified. We can’t sit with our deepest truths really not feeling like our own personal truths, regardless of how popular or simple they may potentially be. well i feel like a lot of my views have always been pretty personal im ngl dare I say I’m not saying that’s me but I feel like I kinda went through that gradually as I grew up and that’s probably how most people are honestly. It’s not as existential as you make ut out to be. We question things. We grow up. We go out of our comfort zone. We develop new passions. People fall in love. We see new things. just like how an apple pie is not equal to the ingredients which create it, there is a certain level of transformation that occurs. we are our memories. and that’s okay.

The user engages in a sprawling, stream-of-consciousness brainstorm while under the influence of cannabis, exploring concepts of the self as a pilot of the body, the influence of environment on human development, and the nature of personal truth. Despite the erratic delivery and playful frustration with the platform's prompts, the post captures a genuine attempt to grapple with existential ideas and the integration of personal identity.