Navigating Social Connections: Initiative vs. Observation

I feel torn between sitting back and letting people approach me vs. taking initiative and starting conversations. Usually I’m the former - I’ll sit back and just observe. I want to see who makes the effort to come talk to me. At my club meetings, I’ll purposely sit by myself to see who sits next to me. But at the same time, I feel pressured to be the latter for two reasons: 1. There’s people who probably want to come talk to me, but are nervous. I could initiate conversations with these people. 2. People tell me to be more proactive. And when I do choose to be proactive, I usually succeed in getting what I want. Sometimes I feel like if I’m not proactive, I’ll miss out on connections and experiences. Butttt, I believe that if someone really does want to talk to me, they will. I feel like I will naturally attract the right people - people who are on a similar wavelength. And I don’t want to waste time chasing connections that I don’t align with. I guess I’m still figuring out when to lie back and when to initiate.

You do attract people who are on the same frequency as you and there’s nothing you can do to avoid it. Usually we just want to not miss an opportunity for further connection which is understandable, but it causes that pressuring feeling. The right people will find you because, you’re right where you need to be, and there’s no where else you could be. People who are similar to you would also think similarly to you and you observing another person observing you will almost always cause further connection in some type of way.

I don’t know I do both but I try to be the one that starts conversations since I love getting to know people, and the best way to do that is to talk to people. Plus life is to short to be non-chalant all the time

I think ur first point is best reason for being proactive. Imagine if you’re missing out on potential connections with someone who thinks the same

@introvert I want to meet another observer so bad 😭

@firefonix valid

@bigfoot true, but I think I choose not to cuz most people in my environment are surface level and just don’t align with me

@dev same im starting to think we are supposed to help make everyone else aware around us or something lmfao

@introvert good point, I think I’m doing a decent job at that lol

@dev yeah I started to realize the best way to succeed in that field was just to not focus on it because it’s something that I already authentically do

@introvert nice yeah let it come naturally

Id reevaluate what exactly it is you're looking for. Do you really want meaningful social connections, or are you looking for a way to bolster your ego? Something something, don't go chasing waterfalls, something

@thegrimreefer I want connections, but the people in my social groups are very surface level so I don’t find the connections meaningful

@dev I can get that, maybe work with who you've got right now? One of the insights this AI gave me was to balance online interactions with real-world experiences, so later on I'm gonna bring the app up to a few friends of mine and see what they think of it. Who knows, maybe it'll lead to more conversation 🤙

Nice! I brought the app up to a couple friends and we had some nice convos