Mushroom Journey: Unveiling Self-Sovereignty

At the moment, I am on mushrooms. And suddenly, I felt compelled to write the truth of my heart. If I’m honest with myself, the idea of this scares me. The very thought feels daunting, almost like it doesn’t matter. How would knowing this information actually make life easier? From where I’m sitting, it might make things harder. This doesn’t mean I’m depressed. It means I understand myself. That’s what’s so interesting about life right now — knowing me. Knowing all that I am, and allowing myself to be any one of the versions of me, while still being me. This I understand. This I observe. To see myself — and I do mean to see myself — doesn’t make things easier. It just makes me aware. That’s it. It doesn’t make me better than anyone else. I just have an unusually high level of self-awareness, and sometimes that awareness stifles me. And yes — I’m aware of that too. Because I see myself so deeply, I have a very high level of intuition. I’m not entirely sure why. I’ve been psychic my whole life. But this level of self-awareness took my entire lifetime to reach. From where I’m sitting now, I don’t know what exists beyond this point. Now that that’s out of the way — Once again, I want to be clear: I am on mushrooms, and this is my perspective of me. This is singular. So if what I’m saying makes you feel a certain type of way — that’s yours. Not mine. I see a lot of people talk about self-fragmentation. From my own experience — once I realized it was happening and allowed myself to have the experience — there wasn’t much to do except go through it. So I did. Little did I know, that was the easy part. Here’s what I learned. Our existence has framing. Everything we do, everything we say, everything we believe has attachments to it. And you might be thinking, well, yeah. But what if I told you that this is one of the great lies? We don’t actually need anything to frame our existence. And if that’s true, then everything we’ve come to understand simply by living our lives has been designed to pull us out of our own sovereignty. During this time of fragmentation — no drugs, no alcohol — I realized that all the versions of me that had brought me to where I was were gone. The past versions of me that built the current version of myself — they disappeared. I no longer had any framing for my existence. I just had me. Over the next few months, I would ask questions in my head about life. Every question began the same way: Well… what about this? And the only answer I would hear was: All that is, is. Can you imagine asking a question and only ever receiving the same response? All that is, is. Later, I realized this is what sovereignty actually means. Internal self-sovereignty isn’t an idea — it’s a process. One I’m still moving through. So here we are. The truth of my art. My entire life, I wanted to find a place in this world. I wanted to be seen, witnessed, understood — no matter where I went, no matter who said they loved me. I never felt fully seen. Parts of me were seen, yes. But the whole of me — no. Part of me wants to blame someone. But who? Part of me wants to blame myself. But why? Another part of me knows this truth: what you allow into your life, you invite into your life. So if I’m truly honest — the truth of my heart is this: I want to love all that I am. Honestly. Deeply. No matter what I have or haven’t achieved. What I’ve really been craving is to be witnessed by myself — to have every part of me seen by me. In this space, there’s no room for conditional self-love. No room for perceived perception. All that is, is.

Under the influence of psilocybin at home, the author shares a deep realization about self-awareness and existence. They discuss how profound self-awareness, while sometimes stifling, leads to intuition and a deeper understanding of self. The core insight is that true self-sovereignty comes from accepting 'All that is, is'— a process of existing without external framing or conditional self-love, and being witnessed by oneself.