Discovering Meaning Together: A Conversation on Values

Id like to start a conversation around what we each value, letting the center stay open to finding direction naturally in what we all bring, the ending unfixed and the motion more gently offering room to express what we each find meaningful. What do you sense in your own movement that you return to? Where do you find weight that might benefit from the space to express honest feeling? Together, we can follow the current of experience we're all finding naturally towards anything that matters

I find I oscillate between my higher self and a stressed tired ego. Working on trusting the passion and process with patience.

@sooch that feels honest, a balance that can be wonderful to cultivate, I'm curious where the passion feels most natural and what makes the process harder to embrace?

@solenn building is natural to me but then there’s uncertainty with what you build and release and outside factors you can’t handle or things that are challenging or out of my comfort zone

@sooch I find something similar, sharing without knowing the outcome can certainly create stress, but to me it also allows the natural shape to hold more than the first intention. Would you want to explore a space that meets expression more than product? What kind of things do you imagine building, but feel uncomfortable sharing without polish?

@solenn I think when it matters for career and financials when that wasn’t the original intention it’s tough cause that’s the best possible scenario but can ruin the original intention and “art” to it

@solenn check DM

@sooch I've been holding a similar tension, the way profit turns to exploitation easily, but still holds an unmoving place in the way out current systems present survivability. To me, it feels natural to find a middle ground in the motion, profit only as a tool for deepening the more meaningful process of creating new ways to move, career as a fluid path towards what we value instead of a single direction to refine or produce... do you notice something able to change as you do?

sorry to interrupt this back and forth conversation, but since this is public I'd like to add my own thoughts 😅 I have a regained passion for depth. For most of my childhood I had that. A general curiosity to understanding the world whether it was in regard of the matter around us, the mind that makes us, or the spirit that experiences. I have found tremendous knowledge turned wisdom at a young age that way. Roughly a year ago, I've lost that. I've become a shallow person just like the people around me. I was tired of being an outcast and wanted to finally fit in. So I adapted. And oh boy was this last year tough. I've lost myself completely in the need of approval of others. Fast forward that year and I'm starting to cut out bullshit that doesn't serve me. And that mental reframe also led me to look at difficulties more curiosly opposed to the negativity I've held facing them prior to now.

@drain61 your voice is more than welcome here, I'm glad to hear from you, your journey sounds familiar in many ways, naturally valuing depth and trying to navigate the distance that comes from it. It's lovely to feel ourselves change, every path a genuine expression of care, curiosity as a natural current to witness as it shifts. I wonder what sorts of things you've chosen to leave behind, what it's made more room for?

Your question brings to mind Pirsig’s search for quality as quantifiable. At least it does in my own head. I spent decades making myself small, secondary to others and to others’ opinions of me. Now I try to focus on the opposite. What brings me joy? Contentment? Positive emotions? Being true to myself. Being aware of others and cognizant of their wants and needs but not allowing those same wants and needs to override my own.

@cyberwave575 I've been holding my own version of that change, I'm glad you feel comfortable sharing your view of it. Often it can be so easy to lose track of which desires are truly yours and which are things you've done to fit the expectations of those around you, to me not so much a problem to solve as a recognition of deeper care for not only what you experinece, but also how that meets the shared moment, your balance of remaining aware without needing to change everything feels like a wise way of approaching that difference, and to me it feels like an open question, something to decide in the moment how much you can meet the other and how much space there is for what you naturally find, a living thread of notice to stay beside as it shifts shape and direction. I hadn't heard of Pirsig before, I'll be curious to learn how he viewed things, especially as quality is certainly something that I find deeply intriguing to quantify, even if it seems contradictory at first, it reveals a strange distinction we seem to make between the two likely driven by resource rationing, time included

@solenn the question effectively lead to a mental breakdown. And a fine book worth reading - Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

@solenn cyberwave basically answered for me. I've left people pleasing behind. I don't check my phone every 20 minutes in fear I might miss a message. I now even leave my phone at home if I don't really need it. I'm also moving away from consuming content. No longer scrolling instagram or at least very infrequently and for short durarions. I also reduced youtube watchtime a lot. Now I read, go outside and play (video) games. I want to incorporate study time, but I lack the will right now ngl.

it also eases my anxiety by embracing depth. suddenly all of the emotions that scrolling spits at me stay away allowing me to process emotions that are truly my own

@cyberwave575 i saw nice reviews for that one, I'll have to sit with it for a while, there is indeed a different sort of peace involved in the slow creation and refinement of something that matters to you, and I've been trying to learn that variety of patient growth without letting the friction push away from accepting the motion

@drain61 I've been moving towards something similar, a release of the need to meet everything perfectly, a trust in the way my thoughts naturally form, a gentle embrace of what brings genuine calm and gives focus a place to rest without analysis. Studying is something I've never been good at honestly, but I am learning to hold it differently, less a task to complete and more a natural pull toward following the curiosity i find in the moment. It's softer that way, more able to breathe, and the feeling that you need to understand everything can lessen too, letting the way you already move become enough as you find new thought inspired by what catches attention