Gifted Artist Reflects on Solitude and Human Nature

The New England storm ended up bringing a lot of things to my attention: first and foremost, I am truly intellectually gifted. Raised by first time parents who thought they hit a jackpot when they started noticing they made a prodigy, I was pushed in every possible direction they could find. I was told I had innate knowledge of a lot of disciplines that had yet to be formally taught to me. I played along until I lost interest and got sick of expectations. I punched walls, bit kids, anything to get them to stop burdening me. As an adult, I’m pissed that I didn’t take interest in something sophisticated like law, finance, chemistry etc. a brain like mine could’ve done a lot in those fields, but too, I found all that shit boring. I happened to pick art. Of all lucrative disciplines. My family supported it, of course, because i was better than everybody who tried. They know i was built to start a monopoly from a very young age, and still have to accept that it’s going to happen at my pace. I put my all into it. Casual childhood experimentalism at 7, teenage angst i was too young to process from unrequited love at 16, ambition to prove my parents i don’t need them at 19 and finally a certain repulsively potent drive to show to the world i can conquer it at 24. I’m so fucking good, some of my original canvass got siphoned out of my vault. I never gave a flying fuck. I know good dope sells itself and it’s only a matter of time before my work finds me, because there’s only one source. As gifted I am, I’m just as socially withdrawn. Which brings me to the second realization. I can’t help but be indifferent to people. They could show me utmost respect, love etc. but… it wouldn’t compare to the bliss of solitude. The more I understand myself, the closer I get to accepting that I can only function as an individual unit. I have happened to spend more time lost in thought than with company, which is why I’ve developed a rather forlorn, unapproachable attitude. People have repeatedly said I’m very wise, an old soul, never bring drama etc. I’d always wondered why. But it’s not hard to see that I’ve always had a deeper understanding of humanity, and chose to play smart through selective involvement and aloofness. The thing about humanity is that they always seem to fall into two types: leader and follower, leading to petty conflicts and transient allegiances. Everyone wants to be a politician when it’s time to prove themselves right to the audience. As an observer, I find all of it rather pathetic, totally mot worth any involvement from me. The same goes for relationships. In this department, I’m afraid I can’t put most of the blame on myself. The current dating pool is a bunch of people who were so traumatized from teen love it permanently disabled some system in their brain. The result is emotionally half baked adults who are too scared of heartbreak to love freely, and don’t always make enough to financially make up for it. Now somebody like me never had to compromise, which is why I always end up leaving, it’s really nothing personal.

The user reflects on their intellectual giftedness, artistic talent, and social withdrawal, attributing their aloofness to a deeper understanding of human nature and a preference for solitude. They express frustration with the limitations of their artistic path versus other lucrative fields, while also acknowledging their immense talent and a belief that their work will find its audience. The post also touches on perceived emotional immaturity and fear of heartbreak in the current dating pool as a reason for relationship difficulties.