Cannabis and a Bruised Ego: Reflecting on Self-Worth

What’s going through my mind so far since the beginning of 2026… the year didn’t start off well. It started with me sending happy New Year’s to everybody that I care about, and my closest friend sent me a paragraph that literally said that he didn’t want to write a paragraph for me. If he abruptly stopped, he started working on somebody else’s, and then he proceeded to only type in “ you’re my homie, my twin even and”… that’s it. I proceeded to laugh about it with him and came up with a conclusion that my friend and I are damn near the same person, so I didn’t need a message from him for real because I literally should already know, but it’s still kind of bothers me. It hurts a little bit. later on in the day when I had to go into work. I was trying my best to be on top of my game and make sure my tasks were getting done, but it kept becoming more, and I couldn’t finish what I needed to do to completion. But that’s OK because one of my favorite coworkers came in who I also really like, so I thought that my day would be better after talking to her for a little bit. But it got worse because, although I’m pretty sure she mentioned it as a joke, she said I’m just a man. I’m not strong. (For contacts, she was holding a box, and it was a little heavy, and I didn’t help her, and she said I sure wish I had a strong man to help me carry this box. I proceeded to look at her and say I was going to help, but you’re strong and an independent woman, but she cut me off before I could even finish, so in reality, all I said was I was going to help.) She then picked up another box that was also a little heavy, and I asked her, “Do you need a strong man to help you carry that?” as a joke, and she said, “No, it’s not that heavy, and you’re not a strong man; you’re just a man.” (And that’s been bothering me ever since, and I can’t really let it go, even though I know she meant it as a joke.) So when I got off work, I had immediately decided to smoke, even though I said I was going to start smoking less and more in the night, but those words bouncing through my mind, the person that I care about and want to try to get in a relationship with, said words that hurt my ego, and I’m not mad at her nor do I feel any type of way towards her. It just makes me think about myself more and how I’m not where I thought I was. I want to work on my script later today, but for now, I’m just going to chill out for a bit and play Avatar Pandora. For some reason, that game has been really comforting to me. If somebody actually read all of this, thank you; you are a very kind person for reading this. You really didn’t have too..

The user recounts negative experiences at the start of 2026, including a dismissive New Year's message from a close friend and a coworker's comments about their perceived lack of strength, which deeply affected their ego and self-perception. These events led to smoking cannabis, contrary to their intention to reduce use, as a coping mechanism while playing a comforting video game and reflecting on their personal script and self-worth.

i’m sorry your 2026 is off to that start i hope it gets better

Words have meaning, if you let them. You have to be kind to yourself as well. I’ve come to realize that some people aren’t worth our time, even if we hold them dearly. The people around you should give you the time of day, it doesnt take long to write a meaningful paragraph to someone you care for, and they should only try and boost you up. My friend and I are really hard on each other and sometimes we say things that might wound, but we talk about it if we offend one another and move on, and in the past three years, we’ve only hurt each other like 3 times, but nothing a good talk and apology can’t cure. I suggest you stand up for yourself, not in a bad manner but speak out on things that might hurt or bother you. You are human, and have feelings, remind yourself on who you are, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Count your little wins, and love yourself first. May this new year bring inner joy and confidence. You might me a man, but you’re the MAN. Be Love, Light, and Stay Bright Jay 💕

@theonlyj thank you for your words although my friend might have hurt my feelings I genuinely understand where he came from. I don’t need an apology. Me and this guy are about to be living in the same house in less than two months. but you’re right I do have to stand up for myself more often. I noticed that I tend to take the main words that people say to me and then just laugh at it to try not to give them power, but it’s sometimes gets to me.

You have more than anything, know your self worth, and remind yourself that you matter. You have to set boundaries even with people you love, you have to love and respect yourself as well.