Sobriety and Procrastination: Finding Clarity and Motivation

It's super late where I'm at right now but I don't know, I just sort of felt like yapping or like talking or just thinking I guess and like yeah I have like a real big test coming up soon and I haven't really studied for it which isn't great but you know I planned to sleep for a couple hours and then you know work real hard on that but I guess like thinking about it it's just I don't know how I've come to this point in my life and like that's not a bad thing right I feel like I feel like I've definitely made some good decisions along the way but I don't know maybe it's the type of person I am to just linger on the sort of bad things that I've done in my life and I think I think that is I wouldn't say it's dangerous but it definitely can lead to dangerous things right it can feel like justification to continue doing or continue thinking about things that sort of stagnate your life whether that be you know mentally or socially or academically in my case but I think I think there comes a point not necessarily in your life but just a point in your day maybe where you you you were I guess present for where you were at right now I guess is the best way to put it I don't know I like I think I think more about what will happen then appreciating what is currently happening and I think living in the moment is something that's hard to do nowadays especially you know with so I guess societal things going on not just for you know me just for people right I think it's like in that sense of sonder where you sort of recognize everybody has their own faults everybody has their own regrets but also their own like aspirations and what they're currently doing and how they're feeling you know whether they've eaten whether they think they're dressed well whether they have slept enough you know I feel like I feel like I don't even know what to feel like I think that's why it's so hard to to think about it I don't know I feel like I feel like for a little bit of background when I was like on weed like heavy on weed it was it was mainly used to help me help me clear my thoughts because I feel like whenever I think it becomes really hard to focus on you know a specific task and my brain just goes to wherever it finds the most interesting now luckily in my brain happens to find a lot of academic things interesting so it does help in some regards but it's hard to do it when you know ultimately it's something I just I'm not that interested in or procrastinate on doing and I think that I think that having a sort of altered perspective helped me think about one clear path or at least give me a map for why everything is so messy and through that messiness I'm able to pinpoint specific things I don't think as much as I thought I don't necessarily worry that much about my thoughts I think I'm at a point right now like sober wise where like I feel like I feel like I do miss some aspects of when I used to be you know getting high quite frequently but you know having a shift in perspective after I want to say like a couple months off weed really forces you to think about where you set your priorities I guess is the best way to put it in yeah I feel like this whole session has been like a sort of example of the way my mind works because I think I sort of realized I jumped to a lot of different places yeah I don't know if that's good or if that's bad or if it's neither but you know it's just something I got to work with and something I have to I guess ironically think more about on how I should approach life how I should approach my goals you know because like once I figure out something like I should do this or I should do that it's hard for me to retain that goal really and especially being sober I'm not sure how to quite do that right now what am I thinking I don't even know what I'm thinking about hmm yeah my head's a bit blurry but I don't know I think that's just sort of how the way it goes yeah I mean when I when I when I find a point where I am able to recognize that will I stop will I stop blocking opportunities that I could have and become a better version of myself is that ultimately what I'm doing right now am I blocking myself am I blocking myself under the excuse that I'm sober but in reality I just need to do the same that I've been telling myself to do I sort of brought it back there it's good but yeah maybe that that is the case who knows at least I don't know right now

The user engages in a late-night, stream-of-consciousness reflection about their life, academic pressures, and personal growth. They explore the difficulty of living in the present versus fixating on regrets, and discuss the shift from using cannabis to clarify their thoughts toward navigating the complexities of sobriety and setting personal priorities. The thought concludes with a candid internal question about whether they are using their sobriety as an excuse to avoid taking necessary action toward their own potential.

Past=depression -cant change it Future=anxiety -hasn't hapoened Present=all we actually have Stay present, loving and truthful.....also, meditate.